Thank You for Your Lousy Service

Robert B. Reich
Marketplace, January 2, 2008

After what seemed like an interminable wait on the phone the other day for a service representative to help me fix a holiday gift that wouldn't work, I heard the dreaded words: "Thank you for your patience." I heard them again after sitting on a plane that was stuck on a runway for over an hour. "Thank you for your patience." Again, at a hotel that had misplaced my luggage. "Thank you for your patience." A few days ago at a restaurant where I thought I had made a reservation but somehow didn't have a table. "Thank you for your patience."

Again and again, it seems, I'm being thanked for giving something I did not give and I don't have, especially at that particular moment -- and that's patience. What's galling is that the thankers know I have no choice in the matter. Whether it's on the phone or on a runway or in a lobby or in a restaurant, I'm stuck because I've already committed myself to their service, flight, hotel room, or table for two. What I'm really being thanked for is not going ballistic.

The old saw says time is money. But now that most of us are working and commuting longer hours than ever, our time is worth more than money. Time is the most precious thing we have. And if the market worked like it does in textbooks, we'd penalize companies for costing us time. We'd pay them for their product and we'd bill them for our time. That way, they'd have an incentive to staff up when they need to, or devise backup systems for when something goes wrong, or give customers better notice of delays -- even though these steps might cost them more.

But the market isn't working because we rarely connect the price we pay for something with the time we lose waiting for it. Maybe there should be a truth-in-labeling law requiring companies to disclose not just prices but also average waiting times. Of course, given how backed up Congress is, we'll wait years.

In the meantime, I'd settle for a law banning the use of the phrase "thank you for your patience."